Losing Weight - and my Mind

I'm hating the taste of cooked food more and more. I especially shy away from animal products. I'm at the point of decision. I must decide to be vegan all the time (or 90% of the time - or doom myself to a life of illness, inflammation and depression.) I'm not willing to do the latter, so I travel the road that no one else around me is travelling.

I never realized how much "peer pressure" I suffered to remain a carnivore and junk-food-aholic. We are a society obsessed with food and bad food at that. I cringed last night as my family ate Krispy Kreme donuts. I love them and don't want my hubby and children to put that stuff in their bodies, but I waver between respecting their journey - I mean no one could've told me a year ago that I couldn't have a Krispy Kreme - and understanding that by eating that stuff they are choosing death and a slow, painful one at that.

I know it sounds dramatic - and it is, but it's the truth.

I feel like I'm going crazy because I know the truth here. We should not eat unhealthy foods. If we are sick, it is because we have a hand in making ourselves this way. We must take responsibility for ourselves and understand that if we put chemicals in our bodies, we are going to suffer consequences.

I don't want to alienate friends and family, but I also don't want to waver from what I know is the right path.

I am praying to whatever power I can and asking for help today. I feel lost, alone and ready to devour everything in sight. I'm hormonal, depressed and lonely. It's tough navigating this world of 'raw/veganism' alone.

On the plus side, I do notice a difference in my clothing, my face and my body overall. The scale is still NOT my friend. Can't weigh myself on it, but I'm down almost a whole size.

I'm proud of that accomplishment, but...this isn't just about weight loss this time. It's about my health. I'm fighting for my life. This time, I care enough about myself to do what's right for myself.